Wednesday, April 25, 2007

In the Nick of time

This tells you everything you need to know about how desperate Alabama football fans are to have a winner.
Last Saturday, during one of those made to order spring afternoons, 92,138 people crammed themselves into Tuscaloosa’s Bryant-Denny Stadium to watch a glorified scrimmage.
‘‘It’s ridiculous,’’ Alabama cornerback Simeon Castille said afterward.
He didn’t mean that as an insult. It was expressed with a sense of wide-eyed wonderment.
If a relatively meaningless spring game can generate that sort of insanity, imagine what the demand will be when Auburn or Tennessee visits.
It’s not as if there aren’t other things to do in Tuscaloosa on a lovely April afternoon. As long as Dreamland keeps slathering sauce on barbecued ribs, there’s at least one pleasant alternative to a spring football game.
This one was different, however, because it was Nick Saban’s first. If there hadn’t been a scrimmage and Alabama simply sold tickets for folks to come and gawp at the former LSU and Miami Dolphins coach, the place still would have been packed.
Alabama fans like their icons, and they've been searching for one whose likeness can be chiseled in alongside Bear Bryant on the school's version of Mount Rushmore.
There's still room seeing as how everyone from Ray Perkins to Mike Shula has crumbled under the weight of the pressure that accompanies the job.
But Saban brought a different level of expectancy with him. He’s won a share of a college national championship, at least, and he conducts himself with the steely-eyed demeanor to which Bear fanatics can relate.
So far, he’s played to that crowd effectively. He’s done little to dissuade the notion that he's aloof and occasionally caustic. He's jousted with the media throughout, but that's fine with the Alabama fans who believed him to be a jerk when he coached at LSU. The prevailing reaction seems to be: It's OK if he drips arrogance now because he's OUR jerk.
He wore a suit and tie during Saturday’s game (what, no houndstooth hat?) and often stood in the middle of the action. He had to know that most of the eyeballs in that stadium were locked on him most of the day.
‘‘The great passion and support that we have at the University of Alabama makes me feel great about being here,’’ Saban said. ‘‘I hope that we can continue to channel the energy in a positive way to get where we want to go and continue to build this program into something special that represents the state of Alabama and the University of Alabama in a positive way.’’
And that, ultimately, is what last Saturday was about. Positive vibes.
A football program that has suffered through NCAA probation and a failure to meet expectations is holding its head high right now.
There are window stickers in SUVs that simply say ''S'' with "The coach'' in small print underneath. Rest assured, Saban's approval rating is higher at this moment than the guy known by the capital W.
And, according to a story in the Decatur Daily, one family has already named a newborn daughter Saban.
All of this before Saban has even beaten Auburn, Tennessee or anybody else as Alabama's head coach.
But that’s what last Saturday’s outpouring was really about.
Sabanmania. It’s spreading.
More than 90,000 people filled a stadium and gave Nick Saban a standing ovation because he’s already provided them with something valuable.
Hope.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Thanks for nothing

Just wanted to express my disappointment with all of you.
Wednesday was National Columnists Day (yes, really. It was actually on the calendar bought at the Hallmark store). Obviously, I'm the only one who remembered it.
I would have thought that some of my regular readers — (yes, I have them, but they only seem interested in e-mailing responses to my columns rather than posting on the blog) — would have sent flowers, cards, a Rolex, something.
Nada.
I'm trying to move on, really.
I'd type some more but it's getting tough to see the screen through the tears welling up in my eyes.
Helping hand

Since I've used this forum to occasionally criticize Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick when he does something wrong, I think it’s important to note when he does something right.
Vick is donating $10,000 to assist families affected by the massacre at Virginia Tech, where he played college football. The Vick Foundation is also soliciting donations in Atlanta and some Virginia cities for the ''United in Caring Fund for Victims of the VA Tech Tragedy.'' Vick's foundation works in conjunction with the United Way.
According to information provided by the Vick Foundation, Vick's donation and other charitable contributions will be used to help victims' families with funeral services, transportation expenses and other support services.
‘‘When tragic things like this happen, families have enough to deal with, and if I can help in some small way, that's the least I can do,’’ Vick told the Associated Press.
Hopefully, more NFL players will follow Vick’s lead.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

NFL = Not For Long

New NFL commissioner Roger Goodell took a bold step by suspending serial idiots Adam ''Pacman'' Jones and Chris Henry for repeated run-ins with the law.
Jones, a Tennessee cornerback, will sit out the entire season, while Henry, a Cincinnati wide receiver, will miss eight games. After years of paying little more than lip service to the off-field thuggery of some of its employees, the NFL finally features a disciplinary policy with teeth. Players who keep a criminal attorney on constant retainer will get kicked where it really hurts -- in the wallet.
One of the few potential problems with the NFL's Get Tough measures is that Jones, Henry and other lawbreakers/headline-makers will sit idle. And, let's face it, do these guys really need more free time? They got in trouble in the first place for what they were doing off the field.
This is where their employers must step in. It's fine for the NFL to establish a clear disciplinary policy. But the league did so because of the disciplinary vacuum that existed at the lower level. Teams proved ineffective at policing their own members. For the most part, they were unwilling to do anything more than fine players because doing anything more could result in losing games.
The NFL must take steps to discipline those teams that are enablers. Two players arrested in one season? Fork over $500,000. Three players arrested in the same year? Sorry, you've just lost that third-round pick in the upcoming draft.
Measures like those would get the attention of owners and general managers intent on drafting the worst behaved athletes, crossing their fingers and hoping for the best.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Early Masters observations

AUGUSTA, Ga. — Well, my observations aren't that early. It's almost 2 p.m., but you must understand that the last player won't get off the course until around 8 today.
I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm really looking forward to that Lucas Glover-Bradley Dredge championship pairing tomorrow.
The TV ratings will tank if Tiger and Phil aren't in contention, which is a distinct possibility given the temperature (42-50 early afternoon) and British Open-style winds. One golf analyst suggested 75 will feel like par today.
Never thought it would be possible for a golfer to slip into a green jacket with a four-day total of 2-over par, but it just might happen.
Imus be a total tool

Am I the only person who finds it ironic that Don Imus and his morning radio show producer made such moronic comments about the Rutgers women's basketball team the other day?
Imus referred to the gals as ''nappy-headed ho's.''
Anybody seen a photo of Imus lately?
He's the last person who should be critical of anyone else's choice in hairstyles. Generally, the only way to get an Imus-style fright wig is to take a bath with a plugged-in toaster. No wonder he wears that crazy cowboy hat.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Another Masters update

AUGUSTA, Ga. — OK, it turns out Tiger Woods isn’t in danger of missing the cut. But another former Masters winner is.
Defending champion Phil Mickelson is plus-7 for the tournament through seven holes today, which puts him on the borderline for the cut. The cut is the top 44 golfers plus ties or everyone within 11 shots of the lead. Right now, the lead is minus-2, which means Mickelson will barely sneak in at the end of the day if he doesn't give up any more ground.
Your leaderboard at the moment includes former Wallace State-Hanceville (Ala.) Community College player Brett Wetterich and former University of Hartford hockey player Jerry Kelly (even-par). Justin Rose, Henrik Stenson, Tim Clark are at 2-under, but have yet to complete their rounds.
Hold everything

AUGUSTA, Ga. — OK, I’d like to amend the last blog, if I could. And, well, I can since I remembered my password and it is, after all, my blog.
Forget what I said in the previous post about Tiger Woods. Forget what I said about Brett Wetterich.
My comments about Augusta, Columbus and Bonefish Grill still stand, however.
Hold the 10-year Tiger Woods anniversary celebration.
Somebody cancel the order for a cake and party favors.
Right now, Woods might miss the Masters cut for the first time since 1996. He's made all 11 of 12 Masters cuts, but extending his streak of 10 straight might have gone gurgling into the waters of Rae’s Creek this afternoon. He splashed down on 12 and 13, making a bogey at the former and a par at the latter, but it definitely knocked him off stride. He shot a 39 on the front and he’s now 5-over par for the tournament.
As for Wetterich, he gave two strokes back since I last checked in, but he's sitting nicely with a two-day total of 2-under par 142. Not bad for a Masters rookie.
Maybe this is the year of the no-names.
Friday's random observation

AUGUSTA, Ga. — I've covered eight of the last 11 Masters, if my memory is correct, which means I have the frame of reference to make the following observation.
Augusta is Columbus with a golf tournament.
Washington Road, which runs past the gates of Augusta National, is their Macon Road. It's a quasi-racial dividing line littered with fast food restaurants and strip malls. Both cities have South Atlantic League baseball teams playing in quaint stadiums situated on the water, although the Augusta Green Jackets don't have nearly as much difficulty drawing fans.
So, basically, Augusta only has one thing we don't. A pretty freakin' fantastic golf tournament. Oh, and a Bonefish Grill. Make that two things.
How much would Columbus' destiny have been altered if we had that one element that made Augusta what it is today?
A major golf tournament, I mean. Not a Bonefish Grill, although it would be nice to have one of those.
That's really all I have. Just pondering the one significant difference between two similar towns. That, along with the meaning of life and whether Tiger Woods will go bonkers and shoot a 67 today to take control of this thing.
He doesn't have to rush, of course, because he's Tiger Woods. He can wait and plan and vanquish the rest of the field on Saturday. There's plenty of time. Tiger has time.
Oh, one more thing before the mention of Bonefish Grill sets me off in pursuit of lunch here at Augusta National.
Brett Wetterich made the turn this morning having pushed his total to 4-under and he's holding it steady through 13 holes.
Never heard of him until Thursday, but that's what's great about the Masters.
The Brett Wetterichs of the world can have their time now. Tiger, who as I already mentioned is waiting and planning and plotting, should still have his time on Sunday.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Rough going

AUGUSTA, Ga. — If there’s any hometown magic left in the 71st Masters, it will probably have to come from Charles Howell III or Vaughn Taylor.
Native son Larry Mize, a long-time Columbus resident, is off to a rocky start on the 20-year anniversary of his 1987 Masters victory.
Mize bogeyed holes 3-7 on the front nine and made the turn with a 5-over par 41. He has yet to collect a birdie through 14 holes, but has unfortunately added three more bogeys.
Not so hard next time

Perhaps former Columbus High School star Frank Thomas should have checked his swing.
Thomas, the designated hitter for the Toronto Blue Jays, starred in a Canadian TV commercial that didn’t receive a passing grade from the nation’s regulatory agency for private network advertising.
In the commercial, Thomas returns home at night and hears two children creating commotion upstairs. He goes upstairs, enters a bedroom and finds two children engaged in a spirited pillow fight.
‘‘Hey, you guys are supposed to be in bed,’’ Thomas tells the boys.
One child hits Thomas with his pillow.
‘’Oh yeah?’’ Thomas responds, seizing the pillow.
He takes a healthy swing with the pillow, hitting the boy and sending him tumbling backward off the bed. A slight thud noise can be heard.
Thomas drops the pillow and jogs out of the room triumphant, as if he's just hit a walk-off home run.
The fallen boy raises his head just over the top of the bed and says, ‘‘Wow!''
A caption reads: ''Frank Thomas, designated hitter, Toronto Blue Jays. It's always game time.’’
The rejected commercial can be seen at:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMdelLmvUf0
Telecaster Canada ordered it reshot because of fears that it made light of child abuse.
Instead, Telecaster Canada's mandate reeks of humorlessness and sensitivity run amok.
Watch the commerical. It doesn't condone domestic violence in any way.
It's funny. The child gets up, healthy, happy and free of emotional trauma.
It's a clever piece of marketing built around Thomas, who stands just 13 home runs removed from becoming the 21st member of Major League Baseball’s 500 Club.
Baseball has plenty of problems already, with suspected steroid user Barry Bonds closing in on the all-time home run record, controversy over DirecTV's ''Extra Innings'' package and stratospheric salaries.
Thomas' commerical isn’t one of them.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Good luck, guys

AUGUSTA, Ga. — They are as ubiquitous as franchise restaurants along Washington Road and they keep even longer business hours.
Ticket scalpers, or ''Event Attendance Facilitators'' as many of them might prefer to be known, just might outnumber the actual amount of folks who manage to pass through the gates of Augusta National Golf Club.
These guys are everywhere -- talking on cell phones in the shade of the I-20 overpass, holding up signs saying "We Need Tickets'' or "Buy and Sell Masters Badges.'' Most of them are doing this with limited success, of course, because Masters badges remain the toughest ticket in professional sports.
An estimated 30,000 tournament badges are in circulation. The face value for a tournament badge is $176, but the limited supply and extreme demand mean some online entrepreneurs and street-side hawkers will be able to command as much as $4,000 for one.
Scalping is legal here, as long as it's done by a licensed broker and business is conducted at least 2,700 feet from Augusta National. Over the years, the scalpers have multiplied like rabbits. Some large ticket brokerage companies have even gone so far as to purchase or rent homes in Augusta to cater to prospective clients and project an aura of professionalism.
If you don't have the coin to purchase a tournament badge, you can always enter Augusta National's annual public lottery for practice round tickets. Face value is $31 for the Monday round and $36 for Tuesday and Wednesday.
Then again, if you trust in your bargaining abilities, you can always try the entrepreneurs who set up shop along the four-lane road to the course.
You can't miss them.
They'll be the guys sitting in lawn chairs snuggled up with their cardboard signs in front of Hooter's, McDonald's, Dunkin Donuts and any other restaurant with passable coffee and free restroom access.