Wednesday, November 29, 2006

A word on the bird

Forgive Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick for displaying the wrong kind of Dirty Bird after Sunday’s home loss to New Orleans. He wasn’t around when the Falcons created the Dirty Bird touchdown dance craze during their Super Bowl run in 1998. He probably heard ‘‘Dirty Bird’’ and thought it meant the sort of middle-fingered salute he gave a jeering fan as he left the Georgia Dome.
Vick has already issued multiple mea culpas for his inexcusable act of anger and the NFL has fined him $10,000. Normally it fines players $5,000 for an obscene gesture, so we can only assume the league bumped up the penalty because Vick executed a double digit defense.
We don't know what Vick heard from his heckler. There are certain trigger words that would set off any normal person, but athletes are conditioned over the years to block out crowds. At the same time, Vick and his teammates have little reason to bother with booing fans. They deserve the jeers, having lost four straight games — including a pair to the terrible duo of Detroit and Cleveland. Remember, this was a team that thumped its chest and declared itself a playoff contender when the season began.
The best course of action for Vick would be to focus his anger on different targets -- the wide receivers who dropped five passes Sunday and the offensive linemen whose porous pass blocking kept him on the run all day.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Slapped silly

I'm no fan of basketball coach Bobby Knight.
He was a Neanderthal and a bully at Indiana and he's a Neanderthal and a bully at Texas Tech.
You can change his XXL V-neck sweater from Hoosier red to Raider black, but you can't change who he is on the inside.
He's done plenty of juvenile things over the years, abusive acts worthy of censure, from throwing a chair to making an inappropriate comment about rape to kicking his own son to choking a player to grabbing a student who smarted off to him.
So it comes at no surprise that TV cameras and writer's tape recorders are poised at the ready to catch his next volcanic meltdown.
This week, he's catching heat for allegedly slapping a Texas Tech player during Monday's home game against Gardner-Webb. As the players gathered around Knight during a time out, the coach saw the attention span of player Michael Prince wandering. Prince dropped his head, losing eye contact with his coach and Knight lightly tapped him beneath his chin to regain his attention.
Because it was caught on camera, it's now the Slap Seen Around the World.
This thing has been played and replayed ad nauseum on ESPN.
Never mind that the player in question and his parents have no problem with what Knight did. Never mind that the supposed slap was more of a tap.
The incident is suddenly being treated as yet another example of Knight's rage uncaged.
I don't like Knight and don't like feeling the compulsion to defend him.
In this case, however, Knight is being penalized for his past.
He really didn't do anything all that wrong in this case, but it's a near certainty that he will do something abusive and utterly stupid in the future.
So save the outrage until then.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

A real air scare

This qualifies as a Twilight Zone moment. On Friday, the charter flight carrying the Marshall University football team to its road game at East Carolina was delayed for two hours after smoke began pouring out of one of the engines.
Fortunately, none of the 150 people aboard the plane were injured but there were more than a few rattled nerves because of the timing of the mechanical malfunction.
Almost 36 years ago to the day, a plane carrying the Marshall football team home from a game at -- cue spooky music -- East Carolina crashed on Nov. 14, 1970, killing 75 people aboard. Most of the football team perished in the crash. A movie about the tragedy, ‘‘We Are Marshall,’’ opens Dec. 22.
It's frightening to think that something like that could have happened to that university again.
If I'm a Marshall player, however, I think I would insist on going Greyhound from now on.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Relationship in the rough

With all the tabloid and TV hullabaloo over Britney Spears finally coming to her senses and seeking a divorce from K-Fed, her backup dancer/wannabe rapper/couch anchor, it was easy to miss another significant celebrity marital transaction.
John Daly, everyone's favorite long-driving, hard-partying PGA Tour player, now finds his love life buried deep in a sand trap.
He's headed for divorce No. 4, which means that the number of ex-wives in his life will continue to outpace his number of major championships (two).
The Associated Press reported that Sherrie Miller Daly filed for divorce last month.
This comes on the heels of her rejoining society after serving a federal sentence for her involvement in an alleged drug and gambling ring.
Long John’s life continues to resemble a mournful country music song, something about how all his exes drive a Lexus.
But Daly shouldn’t fret for long. Never mind the con that will be walking out of your life. Think of all the pros you can offer the ladies.
Granted, he's not much to look at these days. The last time I saw him at the Masters, he was wearing an 84 Lumber polo shirt (pimping his sponsor) and smoking an unfiltered Marlboro during the par-3 tournament. His ample gut hung far over his beltline, a testament to his time at the Hooter's on Washington Road during Master's week.
It's not as if he doesn't offer anything, however. He's in the midst of his worst year on the PGA Tour with just one top 25 finish. With him missing all of those cuts, there's plenty of time to cuddle with future ex-wife No. 5.
The man also appreciates fine foods (ie. his affinity for Hooter's wings) and offers palatial digs (the Winnebago he sleeps in during Master's week. It has a stove and a bathroom inside). What woman wouldn't jump at the chance to meet him?
Now that it appears the lovely Ms. Spears is back on the market, perhaps it’s time to put these two crazy country kids together.